for the Moment.

i just need to get this out. i recently got a new iphone because mine was broken. they replaced it for free. but the thing is that i had everything on the old phone, including LUKE WILSONS phone number. ahh everything is gone. so i tried to back up my phone with my latest backup and then it RUINED all of my current stuff on my new phone. i am so depressed. this makes me want to run away from the world for a day. thats how annoyed i get with that kind of stuff. how dumb. why do i care about stupid text messages and apps? how embarrassing. i think i am over it.

Lately I have been really into reading. My good ol’ friend Timothy Romine has blessed me with some books. It has got me thinking about different authors and how intellectual people are. Which has inspired me to write today. Oh where to begin. Have you ever felt like you are doing all the right things?(reading your bible, praying more consistently, having a routine quite time with Him) And you feel closer to God? And then you screw up big time, and you don’t even know where to begin again? You just don’t even know where to start. That keeps happens to me. What am I supposed to do? The Lord keeps revealing to me so many things that I need to just STOP struggling with. Like lust. Why do I look at very good looking men and have to elaborate on how beautiful they are to me and keep thinking about them? Why. I shouldn’t. It can’t be that hard to give it to God riiighhtt and then just leave it at that. I feel like I am constantly struggling with something, and its a never ending process. But my heart longs to live for the Lord. And in my head I KNOW the stuff I am doing is wrong. But often enough I let myself go and its like its not even me making the decisions I make. I just do it. It is that simple. What else could I ask for besides Jesus. He is PERFECT. Full of Grace. The only person that could love me unconditionally. Why am I searching for other things that will only bring me further and further from my Jesus. My precious Jesus who laid His life down for me, so that I could be saved. When in the world am I going to get in right? What is it going to take? Jesus take my life and make it yours. Please. Give me strength to say no and to want to do the right thing and glorify YOU with my life.